“No, it’s pretty obvious what happened to me, I think. You stole my fucking soul. Snatched it from me, using Kim here as bait. So what now? I’m a demon? I can expect what to happen to me? Eternal damnation, torment, that kind of thing? Am I still President? Am I dead now?” Trump shifted back and forth between Kim Kardashian and me.“Well, as to whether or not you’re still President, that’s a very gray area. The Constitution has no provisions for what happens when a President gets his life force drained out of him by a succubus and is turned into a demon. Those Framers who ended up in Hell, and there were a few of them at least, have yet to provide a satisfactory answer to that question. For now, let’s just assume that you’re still technically the President, since that’s more convenient than having the torch pass to Vice President Mike Pence, isn’t it?“Anyway, whether or not you get any kind of punishment is entirely up to me. I’ve never punished an incubus yet and I’d rather not have. Late that night, early thenext morning, actually, as I was lying in bed trying to simultaneouslyscratch all of the places that itched, I thought, "Well maybe dying isbetter than this itching," so I got up, got a glass of water, popped oneof the white pills in my mouth and swallowed it When I was still alivethe next morning, I figured that one pill a day wasn't going to kill me- at least not right away, so I began taking a pill every day when I gotup in the morning.After a week or so, the itching hadn't gotten any better so I figuredthat maybe I needed to take more of the pills. So in addition to takingone pill in the morning, I started taking one pill in the evening.SUCCESS! By the time Thanksgiving arrived, the pills were working. Well,pretty much working - my facial hair had all disappeared, leaving only alight peach fuzz. And the hair on my arms and legs had done the same.And my chest hair had pretty much disappeared as well, leaving only acouple of hairs around my nipples. But my.
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